When a relationship ends, there is not a lot that can be done to change that. What happens next you can be in control of, particularly when it comes to protecting yourself financially*.
Here are 5 things that we have found to be very important in post separations.
1. Change ALL your passwords. And we mean everything. Social media, all your email accounts, bank accounts, phones, utilities accounts.. The lot. There have been many occasions where clients have had the private information accessed, their emails secretly read by the other party, their whereabouts tracked, their spending tracked, and generally a whole bunch of private information covertly accessed.
Why is this number 1? Its because this is the quickest thing you can do in a short amount of time online immediately after the end of the relationship.
2. Get across your financials. Collect all your relevant paperwork, and keep it somewhere safe. If you have a joint loan, get onto the bank to make sure that any draw down facility is 2-to-sign. Keep an eye on your bank accounts where joint funds are kept to make sure are across the current balances.
3. Reduce communication = Reduce conflict. The best scenario is to try to maintain a level of civility so that you can work through the important issues, however this is not always possible. The best way to move past the conflict, is to reduce communication. The relationship is over. The old "but you did this" and "but you did that" bicker is usually not far from the surface in the early stages of separation. Keep communications brief, and to the point, and do not get drawn into arguments.
4. Create Your *Positive* Support Network. You are going to need some new people on your side, or at least some of your old ones. Re-engage with family and friends. Join a group or club. Get positively distracted with new humans. Seek out support people that engage you in the positive manner, and try to avoid mates & family that bring a negative vibe to the discussion and just want to talk about negative things about your ex. Sure, it's support, but it is not really helpful to you moving past the separation.
5. Get legal advice early. Many clients state that they feel very relieved after getting legal advice in relation to their situation. Many people fret about unnecessary things that they have 'heard' or 'read' on dodgy places like Facebook. It is important for you to know your rights, and the correct processes that are relevant to your situation.
Written by Craig Zwetsloot, Principal Solicitor at Northam Family Lawyers.
If you are recently separated, contact us to make an appointment to discuss your situation 0409 633 961 or contact us on Facebook.
*This list does not address family violence. If you are suffering family violence go here for more information.